Too Much

Words.  I have lots of them.  Way too many to actually make sense of.  I’ll try.

Last week I had an upper endoscopy done which, contrary to what anyone tells me, I’m convinced gave me an ear infection.  Before the test: I was fine.  After the test: my ear hurts.  Oh, and I spend a good portion of my day feeling like either I’m spinning or the room is.  It’s really not awesome.   How people who suffer vertigo keep functioning is beyond me.  Tomorrow I will call the doctor, because already having three other appointments this week, well, that’s not enough.

Why all the medical issues you ask?  For forever my life has revolved around the school-year calendar.  All those pesky things like seeing the dentist, physicals, and other yearly fun get put off until summer.  In my case I’ve put some of these things off for years.  So, this summer was to be the summer of traveling to see family and friends, and catching up on all those yearly annoyances.  No lecturing please, I’ve had quite enough of that from the healthcare practitioners I’ve seen.

Suffice it to say, I’m a mess.  A hot one, really.  It would take way too long to list my aches, pains, and diagnosed problems, and in all honesty I’d need a doctor like Gregory House or Hank Lawson to figure out what’s REALLY wrong with me and fix it.  And sadly, those are fictional characters.  (That last sentence speaks to how much Netflix I’ve been watching while I sit and let the world spin by.)  I need to get this fixed though because I’m embarking on a new journey.  College!

It’s kind of a big deal for me.  For those of you who don’t know me and my story I’ll try to sum it up.  After I graduated high school my mom’s boyfriend and I didn’t see eye-to-eye on pretty much anything, so I moved in with my youth pastors to do some thinking.  I didn’t think fast enough and they found out their job was transferring them from Pennsylvania to Indiana.  I decided to go along.  I got a job in a daycare, and helped take care of their three kids.  Within our first year in Indiana, I met my husband (at church) and we got married.  I don’t recommend this as a life-plan, but as you’ll see, God was in ALL of it for me.

On our first anniversary I was 3 months pregnant.  I was 21 when I had our first daughter.  Seventeen months later I had our second.  Six and a half years in and I had our third and last child.  Three girls.  Fast forward to today.  My husband and I have been married for 23 years, and our kids are grown.  Well, the last has one more year of high school, but the end is in sight.  For 30 years I have been working with kids in one way or another.  Babysitting, daycare, teaching, RAISING them.  In all of that I know without a doubt teaching young children is what God has gifted me to do.

For two years I got to do what I most love: teach full-day Kindergarten.  It was a stressful work environment though and after being at that private school teaching preschool, PreK, then Kindergarten for a total of 13 years, I knew it was time to part ways.  It was truly the hardest and most painful decision I’ve ever had to make.  I still believe it was the right one though.

I started applying and looking for other teaching positions only to find that NOBODY, and I mean that, cares how much experience you’ve had, or how many children you’ve taught to read, or even how good you are at what you do.  All they care about is your college degree.  I never went to college.  In the state of Indiana, as absurd as this sounds, Kindergarten is not required.  As such, private schools don’t need licensed teachers to teach K or below.  Because of my natural ability and God’s grace I was able to do what I love for a long time.  And as a side note anyone whose child I taught will tell you they never even KNEW I didn’t have a teaching degree unless they asked and I told them or I offered that information.

I did land at a small preschool last year, and it was not a great fit.  I stuck it out to the end of the school year but here I am again looking for work.  Back to square one.  So I made the huge decision to take online classes at Ivy Tech Community College to get a degree in Early Childhood Education.  I haven’t had to do anything for a grade (unless cooking and having your family rate it on a scale from 1-5 counts. NOT my idea btw) for 23 years.  That, my friends, is scary.  The good news is I have daughters that still live here who can (and will have to) tutor me in all things math related.  Oh, and blackboard.  I’m going to need help figuring that out for sure!  I also need to find a part-time job.  Good times.

That was probably way too much sharing on my part, but those are the words I needed to get out.  Free therapy.  It’s how I roll these days.  The most awesome thing in my whole story is how I see God’s hand moving through it the whole time.  Someday maybe I’ll write more specific examples, but trust me, without Him leading me, my life not look as beautiful (in all its messiness) as it does now.  I know He’s got this next phase of life in His sovereign hand, so I’m going to trust Him to see me through it.

Let me know you stopped by (um….that means leave a comment below;) ) I like to know I’m not alone in all the crazy.

Have a great week!

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