Sunday Morning Coffee

I should be out running instead of sitting here with my laptop and a cup of coffee.  True to form for myself, I overdid it the other day.  Since it’s been so hot I’ve been running on the treadmill in the garage with two fans blowing on me instead of running outside.  I decided to try to run while I watched something on my laptop.  You’d think with hulu+ and netflix I could find something new worth watching, but alas I could not.   I went with rewatching Alias, which was an awesome series.  However, I wasn’t thinking that the pilot episode is usually longer than a normal episode.  My goal was to run 4 miles or run the whole time of the episode.  Shoot, I didn’t even make that.  I was extra tired that day and only managed to run 3 miles.  The show was not even close to being over so I figured the least I could do was walk the rest of the time.  That turned out to be 2 more miles.  Got that…5 miles total.  By that evening I could barely walk.  I’m not sure why it was such a rough run and why I hurt so bad later, but I did.  That was 2 days ago, and I’m still a little stiff.  I might try a short run later tonight, but for now…I sit with coffee.

The most frustrating thing is that despite going gluten free, watching what I’ve been eating, and running fairly consistently I’ve gained inches and weight.  I’m blaming it on one of the meds I’m on which could have weight gain as a side effect.  The doctor will be getting a call this week!  I’m not doing all this work to go up a size!  So that could open up a whole can of worms trying to find a med that works as well (minus the weight gain part.)  I think it’s very hard no matter who you are, to be happy with what you look like.  I’ve come a long, long way and for the most part don’t care what other people think.  The problem is when I care what I think.  And I think I’m not in a good place despite doing everything “right”.  Which is kind of depressing and makes me want to give up.  I will not give up though because if nothing else I can get OCD about things and I set every other day as a running goal and as long as I’m able, I will run.  But later.  Not now.  Because now I’m still sitting with a cup of coffee.



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