Broken

It’s been so long since I’ve even attempted to write anything.  Not that my head hasn’t written numerous posts, it’s just I haven’t gotten them down on paper or anywhere else.  My memory not being what it used to…who am I kidding?…my memory has never been good! Some of them are about lessons learned recently, and those are the ones that stick. I’ve filed them away for when I feel I can adequately share and make sense of them.  Anyway…

Where have I been you ask?  Oh, around.  The end of the school year for my class was last week.  Our program and awards ceremony was as successful as anything can be when counting on volunteers and children to make things happen.  It was cute!  I will miss ‘my’ kids this summer.  I did however, in a moment of nostalgic weakness, promise them we’d have a pool party/picnic this summer at my house.  I intend to keep that promise!  The only hitch is that our pool is still in its winter state.

Which brings me to a point of great contention with me lately.  It seems as if I’m not doing anything, no one is doing anything.  If I’m not keeping my stuff in order, my family isn’t either.  If I don’t make my bed, they don’t.  I get it that I set an example for the family, but sometimes I just can’t be the leader.  The end of school is always a busy time for me, and especially busy this year.  The school is looking at some possible changes for this next school year, and a result, I’m not sure what room I’ll be in.  Which means I need to sort and pack up 10 years worth of teaching stuff. And we teachers, we have a lot of “stuff”!  It might look like junk to other people, but I really do need that bag of 200 drinking straws (we count them and sort them by color and cut them to strengthen our finger muscles.) Or maybe that bag of mixed buttons (same thing, counting and sorting.)  It’s just a lot to go through, which means things at my house have fallen by the wayside.  And as I said, if I’m not at home to lead the charge against dust bunnies and clutter, well, no one does. 

Another snag came up as well.  I got sick.  Sick is not really the right word.  I had an abdominal attack of pain that rivals the pain I had when recovering from my hysterectomy 2 years ago.  It started Thursday morning, and just this morning I woke up able to move without pain.  Glory be, that’s a good feeling!  I’m not sure what’s going on. I’ve had this ‘flare up’ before and I know I need to see a doctor about it, it’s just never been this bad.  Possibly IBS or crohn’s or some such thing.  Not pleasant. 

Just when I think I’ve been completely fixed, something else shows up!  Four years ago lasik surgery took care of my vision issues.  Two years ago other problems were taken care of with the hysterectomy.  Last year a life time of sinus issues were laid to rest with surgery, and allergy testing and the results have resolved a lot of issues as well.  My hip has been plaguing me for over a year, and that was just resolved recently and I’m free and clear to run and exercise again!  I’ve been getting back into running (and loving it), and now this?!? Really?!?  Can I not just be ok for a while?!? 

I know this too shall pass, and in the process I’ll learn more about life and walking the path I’m on.  It’s all good. Really.  I just need to remember that God is on my side, He has the best for me and I just need to trust that in His time, I’ll understand what’s going on.  The reality is whether or not it can be seen, we are ALL broken, and need Him.

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