Sometimes I wish I were a technology geek. When I woke up this morning, it was with a firm resolve to “fix” things up around here. After going through the wordpress tutorial I managed to change the theme and customize my heading, but beyond that I didn’t get very far. I can’t figure out how to get the twitter widget to work. I’m pretty sure it’s the theme I chose that won’t let me add that widget, but I’m not positive. I give up. Not really. I just don’t care enough to keep messing around with it today.
It’s funny how different people’s blogs are. While reading through the wordpress tutorial, their advice for figuring out what the nature of your blog would be was very interesting. Kind of felt like a homework activity to me, and I just skimmed over that part since I already know what the point of my blog is. It did get me wondering how people choose what they’re going to write about. I get it if your blog is a food blog. You write about food and recipes. Mine is mainly my thoughts on life, and how I try (and lots of times fail) to stay positive. One of my favorite blogs, is very well done and consistent in it’s writing. Not to mention hilarious! I really wanted to add a blogroll widget also, so I could share with you all the blogs I regularly read (I think that is a big tell as to the kind of person someone is.) Couldn’t figure out how to do that either. Where’s the Nerd Herd when you need them?!? Which brings to mind that Chuck and White Collar have new episodes starting up this week. Oh yeah!!
All day, every day, as I think about things I get ideas for stuff I want to share with you guys here. If I don’t write stuff down, it’s usually lost among the massive amount of other things I have to remember. Which means, if by the time I have a chance to sit down and write something, it’s still there, it’s a pretty important thought I want to share. The thought was this: I cooked all this week! Yes, I do realize this is not headline news or earth shatteringly amazing, but it’s what I thought about a lot this week. The reason it stuck with me is that I hate to cook. I’m not good at it. I try new recipes for my family, and no one likes them. I cook the same old stuff and everyone is bored with eating the same old thing. This has been a battle for me for all of my married life. 17 1/2 years I’ve been in this struggle. I’m tired of fighting. The issue is that I’m the mom. The wife. It’s not that it’s my job to do the cooking per say, as opposed to my husband’s, but the man will admit to you that he can’t even boil water. It’s true. So that leaves this family in quite a quandary. People need sustenance. People have their likes and dislikes. I always say if there was one thing I could hire out, it would be the cooking. I just want there to be FOOD ready when we need to eat. That’s it.
With all that in mind, at the beginning of the year when I was reflecting on the things I would like to see change in 2011, I said an arrow prayer about the whole darn cooking thing. (an arrow prayer is one of those thoughts you just kind of shoot up to God. It’s a quick thing.) I think I said something like this, “God, help me WANT to cook for my family. I can’t fight this stupid battle anymore.” That was it. Amen. End of prayer. End of that thought really.
The reason the whole “I cooked this week” was profound for me, was that God has answered that prayer with, “Sure, ok.” It’s not that all of the sudden I desire to spend hours in the kitchen making my family from scratch, down on the farm, perfectly balanced meals. That my friends, would land under the category of “miraculous.” It’s just that it didn’t bother me so much to cook this week. I did give the from-scratch thing a try a couple times, but balanced it out with packaged things. Like when I made bbq beef brisket with instant mashed potatoes. This morning I made Amish Baked Oatmeal. From scratch! I would say I am so proud of myself, but I’m not really. The feeling I most have is gratefulness that God is helping me through this. It IS my job to provide my family with healthy meals. I need to suck it up and do it, but in His great grace and mercy, He is helping me not to hate it. Maybe not hating it will one day lead to enjoying it, but one day at a time, people, one day at a time.