Last summer was the ‘summer of surgery’ (and then recovery), this summer is the ‘summer of travel’. I’ve tried to make the most of my time off. I am beyond tired right now. I want to regale you with stories of Ichthus Festival and the farm in Missouri, but frankly I don’t have it in me. Tomorrow maybe. I’ve used the term stupid tired before, and I am there yet again. So tired I can’t think, move, or function well at all.
I’m fairly certain a number of things are causing me to feel this way. The trip to Missouri and getting home at 9pm, then the unloading of the van, starting of the laundry, and helping Phil drop carry the old stove down the stairs and to the curb for the garbage man is just the beginning. I drove over an hour up to Michigan to pick up our new stove today. I had to stop at the Lighthouse mall in Michigan City on my way home (for necessary items only-like replenishing my make up and a birthday gift), and then stopped to pick up pizzas for dinner (because I am NOT helping him carry the new stove in tonight.) Seriously, I’m begging people on facebook to come and help Phil, cause I just don’t have it in me. No strength.
Oh, and I’m pretty sure I know why I feel like that. I ran out of my anti-depressant meds a few days ago, and since I’m in the midst of switching to a new doctor who can’t see me till the 12th, there’s not much to be done for it. Then, I decided to start cutting major calories and caffeine out of my diet today. Now, I’m not saying I’m a genius, but apparently I’m really stupid. Who does that to themselves? And on a day when you’re going to be driving a lot! Combine all those things, and you will see why I am a puddle of mush, barely holding it together.
I’ve been fighting a coffee withdraw headache all day. Even my large, unsweetened iced tea from McD’s couldn’t touch it. 4 advil and half a pizza later, I feel like a failure. Did I mention I got a speeding ticket, my first ever, on the way home from Missouri?
My life does not suck…just the way I feel in this moment.